This probably wont be a very long entry, and it definitely wont even come close to the colossal textwall that my last one was, but I want to write some stuff down while it's fresh on my mind.
First, right now, I can hear my parents and a neighbor upstairs talking about politics and current events, and it's getting me a little bit flustered. I wasn't really eavesdropping until the subject changed to the whole 'insurgent imprisonment', Guantanamo Bay and such, and I heard them all nodding and agreeing to the fact that they don't deserve a fair trial because they're out there killing our troops.
Alright, I've got a few problems with that statement. I am in no way some bleeding heart liberal member of Amnesty International that believes that everyone should be forgiven, regardless of their offense - even though that's what Jesus would do, that's not a very practical way to run a planet. Because almost nobody feels that way. I believe in accountability for one's actions, and in taking responsibility for whatever you do, for better or for worse. Integrity, that sort of thing.
But denying a captured insurgent the right to a fair trial is just...wrong. Sure, you're pissed off that this character may have ended the lives of valiant American soldiers that died in the heat of battle defending their country. I'm sorry. This kind of thing happens. This is war.
And here's where my problems start. Look at their side of the situation: We're a bunch of foreigners that, in the name of "peace", and "good will", decided it would be a fascinatingly good idea to go ahead and hop on over into their country and to rearrange political affairs and situations to our liking. And in doing so, we introduced a whole lot of instability and ill will towards ourselves, and the situation still hasn't improved. We've turned Iraq from a really undesirable place to live into a chaotic hellhole. What if some other country had done that to us? What if a country with more power and more military resources had just one day decided (and on faulty intelligence, no less) that they were gonna march in and switch shit around because they didn't like how our country was being run? Would we not have a reason to fight back against invaders, regardless of their motives?
Imagine that something like that actually DID happen. Imagine that a more powerful nation came to our country, and started shooting people that tried to resist. Let's say that one of those people was you, because you're a patriot and you love your country, and you don't want to see someone else's ideas change your homeland. And let's say that they outnumber you, and capture you, and transport you to some strange island off the coast of Australia, where they torture and hurt you, a lone rebel, to try and find information about some 'terrorist network' that you've never heard of.
Does that sound fair, peaceful, or humane to you?
The insurgents are human beings. They aren't Americans, no, but they are human beings. I was always taught to love my fellow man, no matter what their sin was, and the insurgents fall under the category of 'fellow man'. I'm even going to go so far as to say that the real terrorists, the people whose only goal is to kill as many American infidels as they possibly can, are human beings. They have a faith that is seemingly and radically different than many of our own faiths, and they follow it with a remarkable level of zeal, and why? Because it is what they honestly and truly believe to be right.
And I don't think that the real terrorists should be let off the hook. If you kill somebody, no matter what your cause is, then you should be punished accordingly. But you shouldn't be punished without a fair trial. If there is no hard evidence that someone committed some atrocious act of violence? We have no right to pass judgment on them - because we can't prove that they did anything wrong.
And as for the men and women that are captured for simply being insurgents - what right do we have, as fellow human beings, to punish somebody for simply being patriotic in a country that we're invading? Again, picture this is YOU that's being punished. One day, you wake up, and take a stand against foreign invaders, like any so-called "God-Fearing American" would. And they capture you, take you away, and kill you. Why? Because you stood up for your right to be free and your right to live in the country of your choice.
How evil would these invaders seem to you?
These people aren't animals. They aren't a country of feral dogs that was writhing in pools of misery, just waiting for Democracy and Capitalism to come and save them from their own filth. They're human, and they can think and feel for themselves. There's no reason for us to lower ourselves to such a level in the name of protecting peace and freedom. If anything, we're doing the exact opposite. We're putting a double-standard on human life.
tl;dr - Iraqi insurgents are just as worthy of a fair trial as you would say that American prisoners of war in a foreign nation should be.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
DDR Hottest Party - Review
Ladies and gentlefucks, here comes another hot helping of video game review...in other words, if you don't find my writing particularly interesting, or you don't play video games anywhere nearly as frequently as I do, you might want to turn around and run screaming from your computer now.
Now that the unworthy have taken a trip to the asylum (who the hell randomly runs screaming from their computers, anyway?), I can cut to the chase.
It's time to review:
And, honestly? This game is as good as any to abuse my powers of image inserting for.
First thing's first - I'd like to thank the deviant of our own community who goes by the name of BlauerAuss for suggesting this game to me. She didn't really do any suggesting, just told me that she liked it and never really had problems with it compared to the atrocities that I'd detailed known only as DDR Universe, and DDR SuperNOVA. And I went with that and bought the game on a whim.
Fortunately for me, my $70 wasn't poorly spent ($35, actually, because my roomie and I went halfsies, LOL). This game has surpassed all other DDR entries that have come in the franchise before it, and I'm very happy that I bought it.
Well, since it's a good game, and I like to end on a good note, I'll start with the bad news first, so I can leave with the good news.
If you're buying this game for the first time, one of the first things that you'll notice (and if you went in with the same low expectations that I did, it's a little disheartening) is the incredibly idiotic Announcer. He sounds a bit like a white guy that thinks he's awesome and black at the same time...he sounds like Weird Al Yankovic, kind of. not in his voice, but in his demeanor.
As unimportant as the announcer is to the actual gameplay, I still miss the old guy. The uppity disco dude with his "Okay, let's start"s and his "Let's reveal your soul"s, he was truly a staple of the DDR franchise for me. And since he isn't in either of the next-gen titles that I've played, I'm assuming that he either died or got fired, and a little piece of the dancer in me died with him.
Anyway, yeah, the new guy is a dork. Which kinda sucks. Also, they still haven't brought back ROBO2001, my all-time favorite character in the franchise. When they do, I'll probably giggle. No dancer can ever surpass the incredible ROBO2001, with his plug for a head and his Gundam-style wings.
As a matter of fact, all of the characters are new. No more Rage, no more Disco, no more Emi, no more Slutty...I mean, Lady (see below).
This was seriously the only image I could find of Lady...thank god it was one of her being slutty.
Yeah, anyway, there's no classic characters (seriously though, Konami...bring back ROBO. Now.). Instead, they've got a whole new cast of semi-realistic dancers that only LOOK like the older dancers. Instead of Disco, there's U.G. Instead of Rage, there's Gaku. Instead of Lady, there's Domi. I mean, they do look legitimately different, but it's like the comparison between Bioshock and System Shock - you can totally tell that they're spiritual successors.
And now, onto the good news - and since the only two things I could find bad about this game were mentioned before, it's smooth sailing from here on, kids.
First and foremost I'd like to draw some light on Hottest Party's mission/unlock mode. This is a feature that is prominently featured in other iterations of the DDR series, and is also prominently flamed and criticized by me. Konami has an awful history of butchering these particular gameplay elements, forcing players to go through tedious, time consuming, annoying, and miserable tasks just to unlock music for use in the free play mode of the game - which is the only mode of the game that anyone actually enjoys. That, and workout mode.
I'm proud to announce that they did NOT fuck it up this time. It's so simple to unlock characters, stages, songs, outfits, and workout programs that it's actually a divine privilege to do so. I mean, yeah, hyperbole, totally, but my point remains. They've made it brilliant.
In DDR SuperNOVA, you traveled from stellar joint to stellar joint and completed annoying and often impossible tasks that weren't challenging...they were chores. They were difficult and meaningless chores. They'd make you need to dance several songs with ridiculous and random parameters set up and do so well or so poorly on them, just to UNLOCK the ability to play through the actual challenge stages. That's right, you unlocked the ability to unlock things. And that doesn't even COUNT for the store, so in actuality - get your notebooks out, class - you had to unlock the ability to unlock the ability to unlock things.
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.
In DDR Universe, their "quest" mode was no better. Instead of traveling to these bizarrely-named "Stellar Joints", you would travel the country in your fancy Dancer-Bus, and enter dance battles and competitions in cities. They could've made it interesting and fun, but...they didn't. The so-called dance battles were the worst things ever! You would be told to dance against someone until their 'dancing gauge' depleted entirely. Then, while you were 'battling', their gauge would slowly replenish. Would yours? NOPE! And since yours was dependent on skill, and theirs was dependent on nothing, these dance 'battles' would last upwards of 15 songs! That's right - they go on at the end of the song if you haven't beaten them by then! And after you've beaten them it still isn't over, because you DON'T UNLOCK ANYTHING.
Sorry about that, I digressed in a big way. Digressed into a rant. But it helps to give you some background as to why I love Hottest Party so much more.
The method of unlocking in this game is similar to the method in SuperNOVA, but it is in no way the same. Groove Circuit consists of you choosing a character and traveling to different venues, then completing three straightforward challenges. It's never random - the first of 3 involves dancing to a set number of songs of your choice, the second of 3 involves dancing a few pre-selected songs, and the third involves beating the venue master in a dance battle. And in this dance battle, it has nothing to do with dance gauges or any of that old bullshit. It's a straight up competition to see who can acquire a greater score...THANK GOD.
After you complete each of the preset challenges, you unlock something. There's no store, so you don't have to unlock it twice, it's just there, you just earn it, and can instantly have it. And it's so refreshing that it works that way. Because there are so many new elements in the game including stages, outfits, and new characters, there's also tons of stuff to unlock. So there's always something that you still have yet to earn. And guess what? Groove Circuit can be played with up to four players. At the same time.
There are new features that integrate the use of the WiiMote and the Nunchuck, primarily 'hand steps' that involve the use of your right and left hands as well as the dance pad. It's an interesting and potentially fun addition to the DDR mechanics that are worth giving a try. Fortunately, you can easily turn these controls off, allowing you to play with a Gamecube controller or dance pad, or the standard Wii dance pad that comes with the game. On the Gamecube controller, there are four ways to operate the arrows: the C-Stick, the Analog stick, the D-Pad, and the face buttons. Since the face buttons aren't as perpendicular as other controllers for other systems, it takes a little getting used to, but it's still just as functional as they are.
They've also added some new play modes, particularly to the 'Free Play' option. There are cooperative dance modes for more than 1 player, battle modes, straightforward multiplayer, and the good old fashioned single dance mode.
I'm not done yet with praising this game, though. Beyond the mission mode, and beyond the vast options for controllers (also, this is a game for up to four people, which rocks), they've actually updated the graphics.
Now, I don't mean that they've made the graphics next gen or High-def, like they did for DDR Universe...while those were pretty, they did nothing for the feel of the game. In DDR Hottest Party, though, they've legitimately improved the dancing.
Now, dancers move realistically (just looks at their poses!) to legitimate routines. Often, the lead dancer will dance a different pattern than the backup characters, and while the dance is always in beat, it's never to the BPM. By that, I mean that they don't look retarded and hyperactive if you select a song with an insane BPM, like the Legend of MAXXX would have.
This might sound a little insignificant, but it really helps the game lose it's stigma of "crazy stupid Japanese fad", and makes you feel kind of cool playing it. And considering that it's DDR, that's a big improvement.
And lastly, the music selection is as good as, if not better than any other game in the series. Usually, I play DDR for the techno, and they've taken a refreshing approach to integrating pop and rap songs into their lineup - almost all of the popular music that finds its way into the tracklist has been remixed and sped up, thereby increasing the amount of fun had whilst playing it. There's also the triumphant return and remixing of some of my favorite tracks, including BREAKDOWN, Love-Shine, and B4U.
Alright, I think that about sums it all up. Time for a brief summary to this monstrous amount of text:
So, yeah. Massive journal entry, but this game deserves it. If you're going to play a DDR game, play this one. It's far more worth it than any of the others.
Now that the unworthy have taken a trip to the asylum (who the hell randomly runs screaming from their computers, anyway?), I can cut to the chase.
It's time to review:
And, honestly? This game is as good as any to abuse my powers of image inserting for.
First thing's first - I'd like to thank the deviant of our own community who goes by the name of BlauerAuss for suggesting this game to me. She didn't really do any suggesting, just told me that she liked it and never really had problems with it compared to the atrocities that I'd detailed known only as DDR Universe, and DDR SuperNOVA. And I went with that and bought the game on a whim.
Fortunately for me, my $70 wasn't poorly spent ($35, actually, because my roomie and I went halfsies, LOL). This game has surpassed all other DDR entries that have come in the franchise before it, and I'm very happy that I bought it.
Well, since it's a good game, and I like to end on a good note, I'll start with the bad news first, so I can leave with the good news.
If you're buying this game for the first time, one of the first things that you'll notice (and if you went in with the same low expectations that I did, it's a little disheartening) is the incredibly idiotic Announcer. He sounds a bit like a white guy that thinks he's awesome and black at the same time...he sounds like Weird Al Yankovic, kind of. not in his voice, but in his demeanor.
As unimportant as the announcer is to the actual gameplay, I still miss the old guy. The uppity disco dude with his "Okay, let's start"s and his "Let's reveal your soul"s, he was truly a staple of the DDR franchise for me. And since he isn't in either of the next-gen titles that I've played, I'm assuming that he either died or got fired, and a little piece of the dancer in me died with him.
Anyway, yeah, the new guy is a dork. Which kinda sucks. Also, they still haven't brought back ROBO2001, my all-time favorite character in the franchise. When they do, I'll probably giggle. No dancer can ever surpass the incredible ROBO2001, with his plug for a head and his Gundam-style wings.
As a matter of fact, all of the characters are new. No more Rage, no more Disco, no more Emi, no more Slutty...I mean, Lady (see below).
This was seriously the only image I could find of Lady...thank god it was one of her being slutty.
Yeah, anyway, there's no classic characters (seriously though, Konami...bring back ROBO. Now.). Instead, they've got a whole new cast of semi-realistic dancers that only LOOK like the older dancers. Instead of Disco, there's U.G. Instead of Rage, there's Gaku. Instead of Lady, there's Domi. I mean, they do look legitimately different, but it's like the comparison between Bioshock and System Shock - you can totally tell that they're spiritual successors.
And now, onto the good news - and since the only two things I could find bad about this game were mentioned before, it's smooth sailing from here on, kids.
First and foremost I'd like to draw some light on Hottest Party's mission/unlock mode. This is a feature that is prominently featured in other iterations of the DDR series, and is also prominently flamed and criticized by me. Konami has an awful history of butchering these particular gameplay elements, forcing players to go through tedious, time consuming, annoying, and miserable tasks just to unlock music for use in the free play mode of the game - which is the only mode of the game that anyone actually enjoys. That, and workout mode.
I'm proud to announce that they did NOT fuck it up this time. It's so simple to unlock characters, stages, songs, outfits, and workout programs that it's actually a divine privilege to do so. I mean, yeah, hyperbole, totally, but my point remains. They've made it brilliant.
In DDR SuperNOVA, you traveled from stellar joint to stellar joint and completed annoying and often impossible tasks that weren't challenging...they were chores. They were difficult and meaningless chores. They'd make you need to dance several songs with ridiculous and random parameters set up and do so well or so poorly on them, just to UNLOCK the ability to play through the actual challenge stages. That's right, you unlocked the ability to unlock things. And that doesn't even COUNT for the store, so in actuality - get your notebooks out, class - you had to unlock the ability to unlock the ability to unlock things.
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.
In DDR Universe, their "quest" mode was no better. Instead of traveling to these bizarrely-named "Stellar Joints", you would travel the country in your fancy Dancer-Bus, and enter dance battles and competitions in cities. They could've made it interesting and fun, but...they didn't. The so-called dance battles were the worst things ever! You would be told to dance against someone until their 'dancing gauge' depleted entirely. Then, while you were 'battling', their gauge would slowly replenish. Would yours? NOPE! And since yours was dependent on skill, and theirs was dependent on nothing, these dance 'battles' would last upwards of 15 songs! That's right - they go on at the end of the song if you haven't beaten them by then! And after you've beaten them it still isn't over, because you DON'T UNLOCK ANYTHING.
Sorry about that, I digressed in a big way. Digressed into a rant. But it helps to give you some background as to why I love Hottest Party so much more.
The method of unlocking in this game is similar to the method in SuperNOVA, but it is in no way the same. Groove Circuit consists of you choosing a character and traveling to different venues, then completing three straightforward challenges. It's never random - the first of 3 involves dancing to a set number of songs of your choice, the second of 3 involves dancing a few pre-selected songs, and the third involves beating the venue master in a dance battle. And in this dance battle, it has nothing to do with dance gauges or any of that old bullshit. It's a straight up competition to see who can acquire a greater score...THANK GOD.
After you complete each of the preset challenges, you unlock something. There's no store, so you don't have to unlock it twice, it's just there, you just earn it, and can instantly have it. And it's so refreshing that it works that way. Because there are so many new elements in the game including stages, outfits, and new characters, there's also tons of stuff to unlock. So there's always something that you still have yet to earn. And guess what? Groove Circuit can be played with up to four players. At the same time.
There are new features that integrate the use of the WiiMote and the Nunchuck, primarily 'hand steps' that involve the use of your right and left hands as well as the dance pad. It's an interesting and potentially fun addition to the DDR mechanics that are worth giving a try. Fortunately, you can easily turn these controls off, allowing you to play with a Gamecube controller or dance pad, or the standard Wii dance pad that comes with the game. On the Gamecube controller, there are four ways to operate the arrows: the C-Stick, the Analog stick, the D-Pad, and the face buttons. Since the face buttons aren't as perpendicular as other controllers for other systems, it takes a little getting used to, but it's still just as functional as they are.
They've also added some new play modes, particularly to the 'Free Play' option. There are cooperative dance modes for more than 1 player, battle modes, straightforward multiplayer, and the good old fashioned single dance mode.
I'm not done yet with praising this game, though. Beyond the mission mode, and beyond the vast options for controllers (also, this is a game for up to four people, which rocks), they've actually updated the graphics.
Now, I don't mean that they've made the graphics next gen or High-def, like they did for DDR Universe...while those were pretty, they did nothing for the feel of the game. In DDR Hottest Party, though, they've legitimately improved the dancing.
Now, dancers move realistically (just looks at their poses!) to legitimate routines. Often, the lead dancer will dance a different pattern than the backup characters, and while the dance is always in beat, it's never to the BPM. By that, I mean that they don't look retarded and hyperactive if you select a song with an insane BPM, like the Legend of MAXXX would have.
This might sound a little insignificant, but it really helps the game lose it's stigma of "crazy stupid Japanese fad", and makes you feel kind of cool playing it. And considering that it's DDR, that's a big improvement.
And lastly, the music selection is as good as, if not better than any other game in the series. Usually, I play DDR for the techno, and they've taken a refreshing approach to integrating pop and rap songs into their lineup - almost all of the popular music that finds its way into the tracklist has been remixed and sped up, thereby increasing the amount of fun had whilst playing it. There's also the triumphant return and remixing of some of my favorite tracks, including BREAKDOWN, Love-Shine, and B4U.
Alright, I think that about sums it all up. Time for a brief summary to this monstrous amount of text:
DDR: HOTTEST PARTY
(-)
announcer is annoying
no ROBO2001
(+)
Groove Circuit better than previous 'mission modes'
no store
dance battles are straightforward
plenty to unlock
dancing is realistic
up to four players
plenty of control options
new gameplay mechanics
more modes for more playstyles
OVERALL SCORE
9/10
(-)
announcer is annoying
no ROBO2001
(+)
Groove Circuit better than previous 'mission modes'
no store
dance battles are straightforward
plenty to unlock
dancing is realistic
up to four players
plenty of control options
new gameplay mechanics
more modes for more playstyles
OVERALL SCORE
9/10
So, yeah. Massive journal entry, but this game deserves it. If you're going to play a DDR game, play this one. It's far more worth it than any of the others.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Fable - E3 2008 Trailer (HD)
I don't know about you all, but I'm FUCKING PSYCHED.
Fable was one of my favorite games ever, back in the original Xbox's heyday. It was fun, it was interesting, the graphics were spectacularly done and the atmosphere was excellent. The villain, too, had one of the coolest concepts and looks and names out of any villain I've had the honor to thwart in all of my gaming exploits. Jack of Blades? More like Jack of Awesome.
I'm looking forward to the new super-context-sensitive combat, and to the dog, and the new relationship feature, and guns, and everything. Whoa, almost had a nerdgasm there.
I'm excited.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Guitar Queero: On Tour
GUITAR HERO: ON TOUR
Platform: Nintendo DS
Genre: Music and Rhythm
Multiplayer: Yes, up to two players
Online: No
Guitar Hero: On Tour is the much awaited portable version of the best-selling console franchise 'Guitar Hero', started by legendary music game developer Harmonix, and now owned by the infamous Activision. Despite Activision's poor reputation amongst hardcore gamers (Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, anyone?), their ownership of the Guitar Hero name does not seem to have destroyed it in the same way that Neversoft's work was. Guitar Hero III was a commercially successful release, with hordes of fans and a much lower price tag than their main competitor, Harmonix's Rock Band. The game significantly raised the difficulty bar for veteran players, introduced new songs, new modes, new characters, and a new co-op career setting, making it a decent improvement on the previous release.
Of course, with such a successful game and franchise under their belt, Activision would obviously want to 'expand the brand'. And so, they've now released a new entry into the Guitar Hero franchise, and this time, it's portable.
This is where things start getting ugly.
Let's start from the top: price tag. The average Nintendo DS game will set you back $35-$40, which is a bit hefty, considering that most DS games are just bite-size versions of their console counterparts. There are certain titles that are worth your money, such as the Pokémon games, Phoenix Wright, and Phantom Hourglass, games that will give you plenty of hours of gameplay for their cost. Guitar Hero: On Tour pumps the price up to $50, as much as a brand new Nintend Wii title. This is because of the included peripheral, of course, but $50 is still enough to make your stomach twist, especially if you're saving up for something (I.E., A computer. I.E., I'm saving up for a computer). And for such a cost, you'd hope that there would be plenty of music to choose from, even if you are having to pay for a special attachment.
Nope. The back of the box boasts barely 30 songs. There are five venues, with six songs per venue, and that's it. No battles, no unlockable bonus songs, nothing. I understand that there's only so much data that you can store on a DS cartridge, but I was really hoping for a little bit more bang for my buck. Activision decided to put about two unlockable outfits for each character, a bunch of unlockable guitars, and a bunch of unlockable guitar skins in, instead of what players really care about: the music. Sure, I liked having all kinds of costumes and guitars to choose from...on the console version. When you aren't playing on a big screen, they become a lot less apparent. More songs would've been better.
Okay, back to the peripheral. This thing has a whole legion of problems on its own, without the software's help. It's uncomfortable, it slides, it's almost impossible to hold your arm at a good angle, and for a portable game, it's incredibly un-portable. It's big, and clunky, and terrible. The fact that there are only four buttons doesn't somehow make playing the game easier for veterans.
Strumming is awkward with a finger, and impossible when using the stylus or 'totally radical guitar pick' that it comes with. For it to work properly and with decent timing, you have to lift your finger completely off of the touch screen for every note - no back-and-forth strumming in these parts. That may not sound terrible, but wait until you get a whole flock of notes headed your way. Then you'll feel the abuse. To use star power, you have to yell or blow into the microphone, which is one of the most effective ways to screw with your concentration, when your mind is already reading the oncoming notes, trying to make sure your finger stays centered on the animated guitar strings, and trying to hit the buttons while keeping the whole thing in one position.
To top it all off, the game's menus and interfaces are just as terrible and pretentious as they were in Guitar Hero III, and will probably be in Guitar Hero IV: World Tour. They were much better when Harmonix made them.
As addicting as the Guitar Hero gameplay is, On Tour has managed to make it no longer enjoyable. There's nowhere near enough music choice for such an expensive game, the controls are clunky, uncomfortable, and unresponsive, and the graphics and sound just aren't worth your time. If you want a portable rhythm game that you can play and listen to while you're on the road, go to a used game section and pick up Elite Beat Agents for $15. Maybe you can spend the $35 you saved on half a tank of gas.
MY RATING: |||------- 3/10
Platform: Nintendo DS
Genre: Music and Rhythm
Multiplayer: Yes, up to two players
Online: No
Guitar Hero: On Tour is the much awaited portable version of the best-selling console franchise 'Guitar Hero', started by legendary music game developer Harmonix, and now owned by the infamous Activision. Despite Activision's poor reputation amongst hardcore gamers (Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, anyone?), their ownership of the Guitar Hero name does not seem to have destroyed it in the same way that Neversoft's work was. Guitar Hero III was a commercially successful release, with hordes of fans and a much lower price tag than their main competitor, Harmonix's Rock Band. The game significantly raised the difficulty bar for veteran players, introduced new songs, new modes, new characters, and a new co-op career setting, making it a decent improvement on the previous release.
Of course, with such a successful game and franchise under their belt, Activision would obviously want to 'expand the brand'. And so, they've now released a new entry into the Guitar Hero franchise, and this time, it's portable.
This is where things start getting ugly.
Let's start from the top: price tag. The average Nintendo DS game will set you back $35-$40, which is a bit hefty, considering that most DS games are just bite-size versions of their console counterparts. There are certain titles that are worth your money, such as the Pokémon games, Phoenix Wright, and Phantom Hourglass, games that will give you plenty of hours of gameplay for their cost. Guitar Hero: On Tour pumps the price up to $50, as much as a brand new Nintend Wii title. This is because of the included peripheral, of course, but $50 is still enough to make your stomach twist, especially if you're saving up for something (I.E., A computer. I.E., I'm saving up for a computer). And for such a cost, you'd hope that there would be plenty of music to choose from, even if you are having to pay for a special attachment.
Nope. The back of the box boasts barely 30 songs. There are five venues, with six songs per venue, and that's it. No battles, no unlockable bonus songs, nothing. I understand that there's only so much data that you can store on a DS cartridge, but I was really hoping for a little bit more bang for my buck. Activision decided to put about two unlockable outfits for each character, a bunch of unlockable guitars, and a bunch of unlockable guitar skins in, instead of what players really care about: the music. Sure, I liked having all kinds of costumes and guitars to choose from...on the console version. When you aren't playing on a big screen, they become a lot less apparent. More songs would've been better.
Okay, back to the peripheral. This thing has a whole legion of problems on its own, without the software's help. It's uncomfortable, it slides, it's almost impossible to hold your arm at a good angle, and for a portable game, it's incredibly un-portable. It's big, and clunky, and terrible. The fact that there are only four buttons doesn't somehow make playing the game easier for veterans.
Strumming is awkward with a finger, and impossible when using the stylus or 'totally radical guitar pick' that it comes with. For it to work properly and with decent timing, you have to lift your finger completely off of the touch screen for every note - no back-and-forth strumming in these parts. That may not sound terrible, but wait until you get a whole flock of notes headed your way. Then you'll feel the abuse. To use star power, you have to yell or blow into the microphone, which is one of the most effective ways to screw with your concentration, when your mind is already reading the oncoming notes, trying to make sure your finger stays centered on the animated guitar strings, and trying to hit the buttons while keeping the whole thing in one position.
To top it all off, the game's menus and interfaces are just as terrible and pretentious as they were in Guitar Hero III, and will probably be in Guitar Hero IV: World Tour. They were much better when Harmonix made them.
As addicting as the Guitar Hero gameplay is, On Tour has managed to make it no longer enjoyable. There's nowhere near enough music choice for such an expensive game, the controls are clunky, uncomfortable, and unresponsive, and the graphics and sound just aren't worth your time. If you want a portable rhythm game that you can play and listen to while you're on the road, go to a used game section and pick up Elite Beat Agents for $15. Maybe you can spend the $35 you saved on half a tank of gas.
MY RATING: |||------- 3/10
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Homonculatus - Spore Creature Creator
So, I recently picked up the Spore Creature Creator, and I have to tell you - it's fun to use. This guy here is called the Homonculatus, and he's my favorite so far. I'm probably gonna use him when the full game comes out in September.
If you don't already know, either from my blog posts or one of the more reliable sources out there, Spore is set to become the next best thing in electronic entertainment. It's Will Wright's new franchise.
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