WOW! These are just getting me more and more excited about this damn game.
Hope that you're as excited as I am.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Spore 35min Demonstration from the GDCe
Spore
Okay, okay, it's an old video and I know. But I'm just now getting around to it.
Honestly, Spore is making me want to go out and buy a really, really nice laptop. More than any other incentive, Spore is making me want to send all my hard earned money down the drain in the pursuit of a better computer. This looks like one of the games that I just don't want to miss out on. And, while this is an old, and long, video, it showcases some of what I believe will be the most revolutionary gameplay ever.
Okay, hyperbole, but you get the point. This looks incredible.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Konami Crap
Alright. Rant tiems.
Some of you may already know (and if you don't you're about to find out) that I'm a pretty big fan of the Dance Dance Revolution series of interactive 'dancing' games - I use apostrophes because, really, we all know that's not dancing.
But, yeah, me? Big fan of them. I got introduced to them by my former-crushes-and-now-best-friends Laura and Clara, and ever since they've been a huge staple of my exercise routines. They've played a big part it me going from the tub of lard that joined dA back in '03, to the sexy hunk of man-flesh that I am today. And I like a lot of the music, because I've always been a fan of techno.
That having been established, FUCK YOU, KONAMI. FUCK YOU, FUCK EVERYTHING YOU EVER WERE, AND FUCK YOUR LIVES. AND ESPECIALLY FUCK YOU, BEMANI. (Bemani is the rhythm and music game studio of Konami.)
I don't know what your problem is. I don't know what all of those Japanese DDR fans have been telling you, and I really don't know what the hell is wrong with your quality control department. EVERY GAME SINCE EXTREME 2 HAS SOMEHOW MADE THE TERRIBLE SONG UNLOCKING OF THE PREVIOUS GAME IN THE SERIES...WORSE.
DDR Max 2 is what got me into the franchise. DDR Extreme built upon that love of the franchise, and that's the game that I scored my first double- and triple-A's on. DDR Extreme 2 was a gem of a title, one that finally introduced online play, and a 'quest' mode that wasn't totally bogus. It was still bogus, but it wasn't totally bogus.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?
After I bought my xbox 360, I bought DDR Universe, because I loved the idea of using my Xbox Live account to play online, and I love the idea of updated gameplay, and all of that. Oh, you guys updated the gameplay, alright. You updated it to SHIT. The DDR Universe Quest Mode is probably the worst thing to have ever happened to any console, ever. EVER. Who told you that it would be a good idea to make a goal to dance until your A.I. opponent's gauge was depleted, and then make that gauge continually recharge at a rate faster than you could ever possibly dance? Who told you it was a good idea to put boss battles into a DANCING GAME? And who, WHO THE FUCK, told you, that somehow players would feel rewarded when they finally beat a task, after dancing for eight hours straight, when the only thing that they unlock from that task is the ability to PLAY THROUGH THE WHOLE FUCKING THING AGAIN!?
But forgive me, I digress. This isn't a rant about DDR Universe. This is a rant about DDR Supernova.
I went out and bought DDR Supernova for the PS2 the other day for a few reasons. 1. Frankenbox has neither been fixed, nor replaced, so I was really in the mood for some different music to dance to. 2. It was fairly cheap, only setting me back twenty bucks, which I could afford to spend. Those sound good enough, right? And besides, I figured that they would've still been using the Extreme 2 unlock system, which was at least moderately usable.
BOW HOWDY, WAS I FUCKING WRONG OR WHAT?
I don't even know if the English language can describe the clusterfuck that Konami has decided to call 'Stellar Master Mode'.
Here's the idea: You choose to play 'stellar master mode' and it drops you on this...map. On this map are some destinations called 'Stellar Joints' (they really need to work on Japanese-English translation). You pick a stellar joint, and, WOW! Up pops a list of tasks, coupled with a list of songs to complete the tasks with. You can complete the tasks in any order, using whatever songs are applicable. The tasks range from "Beat 3 songs on beginner difficulty" to "pick a song using roulette, and complete it", and the songs are usually centered around a theme (for the Stellar Joint Pop Corn, the songs are all popular hits from the last few years).
This is where I start to have a problem.
PROBLEM ONE! If you know FOR A FACT that veteran players are going to play through your games, then why are you going to force them to play through songs with easier, literally boring, difficulties? Why haven't you installed some sort of fix for that? If I can beat MAXX 300 on heavy, why on god's green earth would I want to fucking play through a Captain Jack song on BEGINNER? That's like asking Albert Einstein to figure out what 2 + 2 is, and he has to spend at least an hour on the math!
PROBLEM TWO! Some of the tasks they give you...are so, so, SO fucking RETARDED! They have tasks like, Play two songs in a row with a female dancer! The dancer choice is random at the beginning of each song, and there are only two random female dancers possible. THEN, if you do manage to score the first one, if the next one RANDOMLY decides to be one of the countless guy or children dancers, it goes ahead and resets your fucking dancer count! So you have to get two more female dancers, in a row!
HOW THE HELL DOES THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT REFLECT MY SKILL AS A DDR PLAYER?!
And even if you do manage to complete all five of these senseless, tedious, retarded fucking tasks - wait for it - you're not done yet. Nope! The only reason you were finishing these tasks was to unlock these 'Trials' that you have to complete to get completion on the stellar joint!
OH.
MY.
GOD.
IT WILL NEVER, EVER END.
I completed the first Stellar Joint, 100%, after a whole, whole lot of swearing, cursing, and air-kicking. Then I went to check the store to see what new songs I could buy.
Guess what?
NONE.
Konami, you need to stop trying to be innovative. You're really, really bad at it.
Rant over.
Some of you may already know (and if you don't you're about to find out) that I'm a pretty big fan of the Dance Dance Revolution series of interactive 'dancing' games - I use apostrophes because, really, we all know that's not dancing.
But, yeah, me? Big fan of them. I got introduced to them by my former-crushes-and-now-best-friends Laura and Clara, and ever since they've been a huge staple of my exercise routines. They've played a big part it me going from the tub of lard that joined dA back in '03, to the sexy hunk of man-flesh that I am today. And I like a lot of the music, because I've always been a fan of techno.
That having been established, FUCK YOU, KONAMI. FUCK YOU, FUCK EVERYTHING YOU EVER WERE, AND FUCK YOUR LIVES. AND ESPECIALLY FUCK YOU, BEMANI. (Bemani is the rhythm and music game studio of Konami.)
I don't know what your problem is. I don't know what all of those Japanese DDR fans have been telling you, and I really don't know what the hell is wrong with your quality control department. EVERY GAME SINCE EXTREME 2 HAS SOMEHOW MADE THE TERRIBLE SONG UNLOCKING OF THE PREVIOUS GAME IN THE SERIES...WORSE.
DDR Max 2 is what got me into the franchise. DDR Extreme built upon that love of the franchise, and that's the game that I scored my first double- and triple-A's on. DDR Extreme 2 was a gem of a title, one that finally introduced online play, and a 'quest' mode that wasn't totally bogus. It was still bogus, but it wasn't totally bogus.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?
After I bought my xbox 360, I bought DDR Universe, because I loved the idea of using my Xbox Live account to play online, and I love the idea of updated gameplay, and all of that. Oh, you guys updated the gameplay, alright. You updated it to SHIT. The DDR Universe Quest Mode is probably the worst thing to have ever happened to any console, ever. EVER. Who told you that it would be a good idea to make a goal to dance until your A.I. opponent's gauge was depleted, and then make that gauge continually recharge at a rate faster than you could ever possibly dance? Who told you it was a good idea to put boss battles into a DANCING GAME? And who, WHO THE FUCK, told you, that somehow players would feel rewarded when they finally beat a task, after dancing for eight hours straight, when the only thing that they unlock from that task is the ability to PLAY THROUGH THE WHOLE FUCKING THING AGAIN!?
But forgive me, I digress. This isn't a rant about DDR Universe. This is a rant about DDR Supernova.
I went out and bought DDR Supernova for the PS2 the other day for a few reasons. 1. Frankenbox has neither been fixed, nor replaced, so I was really in the mood for some different music to dance to. 2. It was fairly cheap, only setting me back twenty bucks, which I could afford to spend. Those sound good enough, right? And besides, I figured that they would've still been using the Extreme 2 unlock system, which was at least moderately usable.
BOW HOWDY, WAS I FUCKING WRONG OR WHAT?
I don't even know if the English language can describe the clusterfuck that Konami has decided to call 'Stellar Master Mode'.
Here's the idea: You choose to play 'stellar master mode' and it drops you on this...map. On this map are some destinations called 'Stellar Joints' (they really need to work on Japanese-English translation). You pick a stellar joint, and, WOW! Up pops a list of tasks, coupled with a list of songs to complete the tasks with. You can complete the tasks in any order, using whatever songs are applicable. The tasks range from "Beat 3 songs on beginner difficulty" to "pick a song using roulette, and complete it", and the songs are usually centered around a theme (for the Stellar Joint Pop Corn, the songs are all popular hits from the last few years).
This is where I start to have a problem.
PROBLEM ONE! If you know FOR A FACT that veteran players are going to play through your games, then why are you going to force them to play through songs with easier, literally boring, difficulties? Why haven't you installed some sort of fix for that? If I can beat MAXX 300 on heavy, why on god's green earth would I want to fucking play through a Captain Jack song on BEGINNER? That's like asking Albert Einstein to figure out what 2 + 2 is, and he has to spend at least an hour on the math!
PROBLEM TWO! Some of the tasks they give you...are so, so, SO fucking RETARDED! They have tasks like, Play two songs in a row with a female dancer! The dancer choice is random at the beginning of each song, and there are only two random female dancers possible. THEN, if you do manage to score the first one, if the next one RANDOMLY decides to be one of the countless guy or children dancers, it goes ahead and resets your fucking dancer count! So you have to get two more female dancers, in a row!
HOW THE HELL DOES THAT FUCKING BULLSHIT REFLECT MY SKILL AS A DDR PLAYER?!
And even if you do manage to complete all five of these senseless, tedious, retarded fucking tasks - wait for it - you're not done yet. Nope! The only reason you were finishing these tasks was to unlock these 'Trials' that you have to complete to get completion on the stellar joint!
OH.
MY.
GOD.
IT WILL NEVER, EVER END.
I completed the first Stellar Joint, 100%, after a whole, whole lot of swearing, cursing, and air-kicking. Then I went to check the store to see what new songs I could buy.
Guess what?
NONE.
Konami, you need to stop trying to be innovative. You're really, really bad at it.
Rant over.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I Can See Them! The Monsters!
Like I said, I have a whole bunch of new information to spew in your general directions. And like I said, by "you", I mean "nobody".
This is part one of an ongoing series involving one of my best friends' mothers and her paranoid psychosis. This actually happened. To me. I'm the pink text. No, seriously, I am. You don't believe me. It's fucking true.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Dubailand
Sorry I've been so inactive. Not that any of you all care. And by 'you all', I mean, the people that are non-existent. Because I'm not famous yet.
WELL! The good news is that I've accumulated a fair amount of information to relay to you via the blogosphere. First order of business?
Dubailand.
Well, not so much Dubailand as Dubai itself...I just read a fascinating article about the place, and it has given me a fucking ass-load of inspiration for my writing. And that's not just gay innuendo.
Apparently the place is growing and developing at a skyrocketing pace. Like, so fast that there's a permanent dust cloud above the area because of all the construction. It's got some sort of international economic cause that's too confusing for me to delve into right now, but from what I understand it has to do almost entirely with the price of oil and Saudi oil moguls.
It seems to me (And to US News, apparently) that Dubai (and a few other states around the Persian Gulf) is turning into a supermodern land of business opportunity, colossal architectural achievement, and biggest things in the world.
I smell a fictional capital of the world in the making. My latest story is dealing with a post-apocalyptic world, and I need to be creating a planet earth of the near future, so that I can effectively demonstrate its destruction. It'd be incredible to have that kind of historical detail in a sci-fi epic. And I'm gonna work on it.
I'm mostly writing this down so I don't forget to write about this. I have serious ADD with my story plots.
WELL! The good news is that I've accumulated a fair amount of information to relay to you via the blogosphere. First order of business?
Dubailand.
Well, not so much Dubailand as Dubai itself...I just read a fascinating article about the place, and it has given me a fucking ass-load of inspiration for my writing. And that's not just gay innuendo.
Apparently the place is growing and developing at a skyrocketing pace. Like, so fast that there's a permanent dust cloud above the area because of all the construction. It's got some sort of international economic cause that's too confusing for me to delve into right now, but from what I understand it has to do almost entirely with the price of oil and Saudi oil moguls.
It seems to me (And to US News, apparently) that Dubai (and a few other states around the Persian Gulf) is turning into a supermodern land of business opportunity, colossal architectural achievement, and biggest things in the world.
I smell a fictional capital of the world in the making. My latest story is dealing with a post-apocalyptic world, and I need to be creating a planet earth of the near future, so that I can effectively demonstrate its destruction. It'd be incredible to have that kind of historical detail in a sci-fi epic. And I'm gonna work on it.
I'm mostly writing this down so I don't forget to write about this. I have serious ADD with my story plots.
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